Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!

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(678): View more from Georgia

his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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(515): View more from Iowa

nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying

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(973): View more from New Jersey

What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.

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