You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
