i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
