Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
