she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize