Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
