PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
