loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
