I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize