How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i think i just lost a toe
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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