she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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