it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
