dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
