one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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