there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
