first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
