ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize