Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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