You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize