so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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