why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
