Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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