Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my sisters under your porch take her home
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
