Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
