how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
