My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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