Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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