i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the condom got lost in my hair
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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