dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
