I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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