Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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