There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
