I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
