Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
