She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
