if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
