I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
