i don't like sucking hair
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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