He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
