While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
my poor anus
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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