I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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