Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
