we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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