Capitaan dildo arrescate!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
