If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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