We named our party play list daddy issues
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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