a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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