Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
