i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
