I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
