I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
