i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
