in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
