Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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