I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
