And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
