apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Randomize
