how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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