Sacagawea was the original milf.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
