This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
