2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
