she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
