I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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