He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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