I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
