Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i've created a new STD.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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