why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize