all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
