Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
