im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
