She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
