when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize