Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Success! We fucked roommates!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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