Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
