Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
