Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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