Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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