got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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